Go With The Flow 

Go With The Flow 

Instead of fighting the waves,

 relax in this place of grace

 where you meet with Me face to face.


God whispered this little saying over my heart and mind a few months ago. Ever since then, He has been using it to remind me that no matter how big the waves of life get, He is in control. 

If you know me personally, then you are probably aware that I have some control issues. They flare up when I become too comfortable with my ideas and get focused on what I think is best. The deeper I’ve gotten into my relationship with God, the more aware I’ve become about how much I struggle with this. I especially see it in the way I communicate with the people I love most- my family, especially my siblings. Being their big sister, all I truly want is the best for them (or, what I think is the best) and because of this I find myself selfishly pushing too hard in areas of their lives that aren’t my place to push. 

God has really worked through my natural, ungodly belief to be in control throughout the past few years. He has slowly revealed to me that feeling responsible for “saving” the people I care about through my own strength is a lie the enemy has placed inside of my head.

I had a friend who put it this way: “If you fight the waves, you get tired and feel like you’re drowning…but when you let go and just float then it’s natural, peaceful and refreshing. The more water you push out of your way, the more it will come back and move. The water is always there, we just choose how we move and react.”

Sometimes, I get so focused on trying to save myself or others that I forget the One who has already saved us and end up creating more harm and chaos. But I hear God calling me to go with His flow and let Him create the rhythm of the waves. He is asking us to just trust Him, even when everything seems to be falling apart around us- which is a really challenging concept for me to grasp. The world tells us to fight harder, but God just wants us to relax with Him. And the funny thing is when we really do trust Him, He opens our eyes to how much easier it is to just let go & rest in Him instead of trying to stay afloat on our own.

The waves of life will come regardless- fighting the world is tiring, surrendering to Him is lifesaving. 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” -Matthew‬ ‭11:28‬

Advertisements
Beauty In The Refining

Beauty In The Refining

Hey there. Well, it’s been quite awhile since I wrote a blog post on here. And, I really wish that wasn’t the case because I’m most happy when I’m writing- but life happens & these past few months have been iNsAnE for lots of different reasons. But I’m here now & thankfully, just like Jesus, this blog isn’t going anywhere (even if I do stray a little). So this is me attempting to bottle all of the craziness that’s been going on in my heart & head over these past eight months…this will be an adventure! Also, thank you for taking the time to read these words I’m writing- it means so much to me.

Lately, my heart has felt like a rubber band ball- a really tight, randomly put together & crazily colored rubber band ball of chaos. 

So much has happened since I last blogged. I finished my first two years of college at NCTC in one year, went to New York City & Europe for the first time this summer, was a seventh-grade girls leader at my church camp & so much more. But I also have lost close friends, gone through frustrations about my Hashimoto’s disease & have struggled with my faith in multiple different ways. 

I feel like I’m always using the word “season” to explain the place of life I’m in, but I really feel like it hasn’t just been a season. It feels longer than that, it’s almost like I’ve given into “just surviving”.

And I really, really hate being in that place. I just don’t enjoy feeling like a rubber band ball, being carelessly bounced around by Satan, because it’s overwhelming & chaotic & not who I was made to be. But sometimes I get too caught up in life & creating the rubber band ball that I forget who I let hold it…and I don’t realize how bad things are until my monstrosity of rubber bands is big enough for the Guinness Book of World Records.

But no matter how out of control life can get, I know that God is just waiting for me to ask Him to unravel all of the “rubber bands” & reveal His beauty underneath the insanity. The thing is, that’s actually a really scary process that I didn’t even realize I needed to go through until recently. Life just slowly handed me rubber bands- school, temptations, doubt, broken relationships & deep wounds- until it became too much for me to handle. And when each one is removed, it’s painful. Over the past couple of weeks, God has opened the doors for some of my rubber bands to be taken off & replaced with His freedom. I can feel Him refining me & molding me into who He has created me to be- instead of who the rubber bands of life want me to be. 
I’m not exactly sure who He is forming me into or for what purpose but I know that He’s creating a masterpiece of His goodness, grace & love- something so much better than a rubber band ball. 

Even though I’m still in this difficult season of life & have more “rubber bands” to take care of, I am holding onto the promise that I’m being pressed on and stretched to be turned into someone beautiful for His Kingdom.
And I want to remind you that He’s working on you too. Whether your “rubber band ball” is big or small, we all have one. God wants you to know He is shaping you into the masterpiece He designed you to become for the unique Kingdom Mission He has called you to accept. 

Before I had this revelation, I had run dry in my faith (which is partly why I haven’t written in awhile- that & I’ve been either too busy or too lazy…let’s keep it real). But I realized that is exactly why God gave me a passion for writing- to authentically process & encourage seasons like these. Whether we’re just surviving or thriving, God placed us in this exact moment for a reason- He is with us & He is always giving us a word to share (even if it’s a weird metaphor about being a rubber band ball). 
Giving into the craziness of life is easy, letting Him unravel us into His own unique creation is harder. But no matter what, throughout the highest of highs & lowest of lows: when God is in control, there is beauty in the refining.

“Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.”‭‭.                        – 1 Peter‬ ‭4:12-13‬